Celebrate in your own style

It's 'birthday weekend' among my friends, acquaintances and loved ones. So what should one cook to celebrate?

Well, in some cases you can do no better than ham, egg and chips with some English mustard. I do great fried eggs, too. We used to own a deep fryer and I made my own fat, crispy, delicious chips. I miss them, but I don't miss the whole house and all my clothes smelling of chip fat!

For some, the onion soup I made last weekend would be the perfect celebration treat. It's ridicuously easy, too - chop up three or four onions (a mixture of red and white), cook them softly in a saucepan for about 20 minutes so they're see-through and squishy rather than brown and crispy, then add a pint of beef stock and some seasoning and simmer it all for half an hour. And that's it! I also made massive Paris-style croutons with some French bread rings toasted with Emmental on top. Some people, however, find too many onions annoying ... so it's best to check with the birthday boy/girl first!

Some like a picnic and we're having some splendid weather at the moment, so it's ideal for finding a quiet spot outdoors and bringing some sandwiches, cakes or pork pies. The problem there is that all the 'quiet' spots are overrun with other people trying to enjoy the last (and indeed first) of the nice weather.

Many people have a sweet tooth and for them I'd recommend the low-fat apple cake with some lovely tea. One year, for my dad's birthday, I made some cappucino and espresso cupcakes. They're basic fairy cakes made with instant coffee powder mixed in, and topped with creamy toppings - chocolate-flavoured for the cappucino and vanilla for the espresso. I think they're from Nigella's Domestic Goddess book, or at least one of hers.

If it's your own birthday, though, and you don't fancy cooking (and can't find anyone else to cook for you), I'd recommend getting a massive curry from Tesco's Takeaway range. It's normally next to the deli counter with those ready-cooked chickens. Just shove it in the oven and eat it with loads of naan bread and some beer!

Happy birthdays.

Brave old world

Inspired by patatas bravas

I've been a bit flakey lately, haven't I? Ooh, pasta's too hard! Potatoes: what are they like?! Oh, I love ham, me! Well, to make up for it, here's an actual recipe.

Before you all scream at me, I have no idea if this is authentic. I've based it on eating patatas bravas and improvising with ingredients I had around the house.

Firstly chop two large potatoes into small cubes (about an inch across, I suppose). There's no need to peel them first, really. Place them on a large baking tray and drizzle them with loads of olive oil, adding a good sprinkle of salt and black pepper. Roast them in the oven for about 20 minutes initially.

After they've had a chance to start cooking, remove the baking tray and add a tin of tomatoes (I don't know quantities but one of the tall tins!). I normally use tinned cherry tomatoes because they burst in an appealing way. Also add a small sprinkle of chilli flakes, a splash of balsamic vinegar, a very small squeeze of tomato puree (I use sun-dried tomato puree but it probably doesn't make much difference!), a teaspoon of demerara sugar and a roughly-chopped red onion. Return the whole thing to the oven for about half an hour until the potatoes are thoroughly cooked and the tomato sauce has thickened.

I would normally eat masses of this with a tortilla and a bit of ham, in which case this amount serves only two of us. If you're eating it as 'proper tapas', however, it would probably constitute at least four portions.

Oh, and have red wine with it!